Chapter 13: Finding Peace & Chapter 14: Letting Go
"By coming back to her place of landing, she completed the first circle of her life. be re encountering her companions on that journey, she recited to them the lessons she had learned, and was judged by universal law-that more than physical bond between beings everywhere and at all times-and was told the purpose of her life." (361) I think that sentence serves as a summary of not just the book, but of Le Ly's life. It is the resolution to her story. She was once a little girl, lost and confused. Now she has found her purpose in life, and has become a strong woman. It was not all easy for her but she made it. She reunited with her long-lost family, and she started her very own family. Although she had to endure a lot of pain before she reached this point, it seems to have been worth it. She is now at peace with herself and her family.
Chapter 11: Almost in Paradise & Chapter 12: Finding a Family
"The first day on my new job at the hospital in Danang was like a day in paradise." (274) Le Ly has just started working as a nurse. This simile shows that Le Ly is very pleased with what she is doing. She is finally be happy with her life and everything that is going on. The only thing that seems to be missing is a complete husband. In these chapters Le Ly meets two American guys, however neither really seem to be the one for her. Also, she made a promise with herself that she would never date somebody unless marriage was an option. Le Ly's life kind of reminds me of a puzzle. The pieces get thrown apart and there doesn't seem to be a solution. However, with a little time and effort everything will come together and make a beautiful picture.
"Overcoming our pain from the war. Learning to trust when we're afraid. Learning to honor the past while letting go of it at the same time. These are the things you came to Vietnam to learn...Perhaps it's your turn now to teach." (273) This is a maxim offered to Le Ly by Anh. Anh is telling Le Ly that she has already learned everything she wanted to when she decided that she wanted to return to Vietnam. Since she has now learned everything, she must now go and teach everything. The power is now in her own hands. It is up to her to live the best life she can. Along with this, she must provide the best life for her family. As a woman, she now has the power to make a difference. This reminds me of a popular 90's song called "I've Got the Power".
"The longer you live, the more time you've had to use up your tears. You come into this life happy and the rest of the world tries to take that happiness away from you. Tears are god's way of paying you back for what he's taken. You feel better after you cry, don't you? Okay-you're young." (254) These are some of the first words that Le Ly's mother says to her after the reunite for the first time in many years. Le Ly is overcome with emotion and tears, while her mother looks unaffected. Her mother than explains this myth. I found it very interesting to think about. The older you get, the more tears you've cried and the more likely that you've already used up all your tears. Therefore, the young are able to cry more than their elders because they haven't had to cry as much. This chapter was a good one for Le Ly. She was reunited with her mother who she missed a lot. After reading this chapter, it reminded me that no matter what we do, our parents will always love us and welcome us back into their arms.
"Even if my visit ended now, I have at least had the satisfaction of seeing my sister Hai-the next best thing to my mother-and my long lost brother Bon Nghe, who now heads my father's family." (234) In this quote Le Ly is reflecting on what had happened the past couple days. She has finally reunited with a majority of her family. Although she still has not seen her mother, she decides to be thankful that she has seen all of the people that she has. She also had expectations for what it would be like to go back home, but she never thought that it would feel this good. Le Ly reflects, "As I pull my fingers through my wet hair, I can feel the tendrils of my life forming a circle before my eyes-but in such colors and such rich textures as I could scarcely have imagined" (235). She is happy that she chose to move her family to America, however she still loves the feeling of being back home in Vietnam. This seems to be the motif of this chapter.
This song reflects what I think was going through Le Ly's head at the time. It's all about the feeling of finally going back home after being away for a while.
Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
Le Ly does not regret moving to America. Although some people are upset with her for leaving her Vietnam roots, she doesn't want that to be a reason for them not to associate with her any longer. She had the best intentions when she left, and all she wanted was a better life for her family.
"I believed my father's death was his way of giving me eternal peace...Vietnam already had too many people who were ready to die for their beliefs. What it needed was men and women-brothers and sisters-who refused to accept either death or death-dealing as a solution to their problems. If you keep compassion in your hear, I discovered, you never long for death yourself. Death and suffering, not people, become your enemy; and anything that lives is your ally. It was as if, by realizing this, an enormous burden had been lifted from my young shoulders. From my father's death, I had finally learned how to live." (215) This realization of Le Ly spoke volumes to me. No son or daughter wants to let down their parents, and Le Ly was no exception. Since she was a young girl, her father would always talk to her about her duties as a women in their village. Trong always told her that her main job was to have children, and be a good mother to them. Teach them about their ancestors, country, and how to make peace. However, Le Ly always had the fantasy that she would take up a sword and fight for her country. She wanted to be in the middle of the war and she believed it was her duty to fight, just like the men do. This whole situation reminds me of the movie "Mulan". Mulan disguises herself to be a man, and takes her father's place in battle.
However, after her father's death, Le Ly has an understanding of her role. She comes to peace with the fact that she must focus on being the best mother she can. All of her anger and frustration towards the people who had hurt her disappears, and she realizes that war is the enemy, not those people. Le Ly matures mentally in this chapter. After this chapter I think that Le Ly will become very strong mentally and physically, and will make her father proud.
"For the first time in my life I thanked fate or luck or god for the American...dragonflies that had previously brought so much terror into my life" (172). Le Ly was walking by herself at dark when she was caught by some men who were looking to cause trouble. Thankfully, a helicopter came over and scared the men away. Throughout this part of the book the setting was making it look as if Le Ly's situation was hopeless and that the men were going to get away with taking advantage of her. I think even Le Ly thought that she was doomed. However, this whole chapter seems to have the central idea that good things can come from unpromising situations. Le Ly was about to have her son and she was kicked out of many houses because of it. She was once again unhappy and did not have a place to call home. However, a little while later she was blessed with her son, and all that unhappiness was now replace with joy. John Milton once said that "Every cloud has a silver lining". This means that something good can come from any bad situation. I think Le Ly in this chapter is a perfect example of this.
"It occurs to me that as I show Anh the pictures, my own life is also on parade. I realize now, as I watch Anh enjoy the son he's never known, how much Anh has truly become my brother-not husband, mot lover-but one part of the wholeness I have always sought in life." (144) While Le Ly is visiting Anh after not seeing him for many years, she reflects on how he affected her life. Although he was not her soulmate, he had a huge impact on her life for the better. Without her getting pregnant with his son, and being kicked out, she would have never moved to America. Being in America gave her a chance to live a happy life without torture or war taking control of it. This flashback proves to Le Ly that God has a purpose for everything. This reminds me of a well known quote by Marilyn Monroe:
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe
Le Ly realizes this, and is grateful for being able to know him. She is not upset that he is not her husband, but thankful to have had the opportunity to meet him because ultimately it gave her a better life that now, many years later, she would not change for the world.
"I wipe the tears from my face and put the terrible notice in my purse, snapping the clasp with finality. No more weeping. I must think clearly. I must get in touch with my higher self - that more-than-conscious inner voice that seldom speaks with words. I chide myself for giving in to self-pity in a dangerous situation" (102). From this quote we see a turning point in the book. Le Ly reaches an epiphany and starts to realize that self-pity isn't going to get her very far. She decides to forget about everything bad that has happened in the past. She wants to become a stronger woman and fight for a better life. This realization that Le Ly goes through reminds me of the song Superwoman by Alicia Keys.
Once Le Ly starts living her "new" life, she moves to Saigon with her mother. There, she becomes a servant for a man named Anh. Although he is married, and she is his servant, they begin to fall in love and Le Ly is finally happy. For once in her life, she can be relieved that something is going right.
"One consequence of the increased killing by both sides was the growing number of parentless children. Many of them found homes with relatives, in Ky La or more distant places, but many others were reduced to scavenging in the fields and garbage dumps, begging, or stealing from farmers. They wandered around, alone or with other orphans, looking as miserable as they were" (69). The concrete details mentioned in this quote really shocked me. It is really hard to think of what it might be like to be an orphan and to be in the same situation as these kids. Not only are they orphans, but they also are poor, and are left to feed their brothers and sisters while being in the middle of an intense war. Le Ly is fortunate enough to not be one of these orphans, however she is often arrested, and tormented for things as simple as just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. She is living in a village that is also caught in the middle of all the fighting. While they secretly side with the Viet Cong, they are forced to go along with everything that the Republicans demand of them. In these situations the kids are forced to give up their childhoods and act as adults. Some of them, becoming responsible for fighting for their families.
"He was built solidly-big-boned-for a Vietnamese man, which meant he probably had well-fed, noble ancestors. People said he had the body of a natural-born warrior. He was a year younger and an inch shorter than my mother, but just as good looking" (26). This is one of the very first things Le Ly says in this chapter and I automatically can make an inference that Le Ly looks up to her father and really thinks highly of him. Although Le Ly is a girl, her father, Trong, often teaches her about man's chores, work, history, and the country. This is a big sign of a shift in society. From her father, she also learns that if she admitted she was Catholic of spoke against the Buddhists, the Viet Cong would kill her. This is a hard situation for their family considering they are located in between north and south, and share many characteristics of both. With Le Ly's brother with the Viet Cong, and her sister with the Republicans, Trong explains that they are not traitors, but allies of both groups. However, I do not see how they will remain in peace if they are trying to play both sides. It's my guess that later on in the book it will cause trouble that they associate with two different sides.
"But planting was only part of village life. Like daylight and darkness, wakefulness and sleep, the labors and rituals of harvest defined the other half of our existence" (8). This balanced sentence shows the values of Le Ly's family and of a majority of the families in her village in Vietnam. They value their crops and look at them as a symbol of life and karma. They have very strong traditions and family ties that are passed down through each generation. Le Ly's mother shows her how to be a good mother, wife, and daughter-in-law. Although she tells Le Ly how to be a good wife, in most Vietnamese families they do not pick their spouse. These are arranged marriages which are more of a business partnership than a loving relationship. Although the family is put through many hardships, they always seem to come together and make it through. I think everybody can take something from this book already. It really puts an importance on family ties and relationships.
